What makes me me

Sometimes I have often thought that looking at my wonderful daughters I am seeing a self portrait that I painted from me. I know that sounds so off the wall, but I see little things they do that is part of me, a smile, or a certain look one of them may give off at any moment. A stance or even a tone in voice.
Dorothy, She is my shy one, sweet, tender hearted and ever so tom-boyish as I was or am. She is also a great Mom! She has been through a lot of stuff since she turned 18, finding herself, making mistakes, but the best thing came out of all of it...Ray Marie. I am really proud of her and how she has handled things. She will be 24 this year and Raleigh(Ray Marie) will be 3 in Nov.
Samantha, again very tender hearted, but has an edge to her, an edge I love, she is brash at times and will say anything that pops in her mind. Samantha is as tom boyish as her sister, but has to manage a certain air about her at all times. Sam works for a insurance company and is climbing that ladder. I feel like I have lost her, I know that is silly but what role do I play now? She will be 20 in August. I wish I could go back to when they were little and needed me.
I look at them and I see a younger me, a me I miss and seem to have lost. Then as a Mother I look at them and see my daughters becoming women. A portrait of me. I hope I did ok, I hope I did what was good for them. I worry what I will be without them, who I will be. I am going to have reinvent myself, my marriage, my home when they are gone.

Updated on 06/17/2008 10:30 AM by shannon